1. |
Mutilation Mountain
01:06
|
|||
I went to the mountain intending to ski down
Got onto the diamond track and quickly things went south
The sun shines and howling breezes blow
I dropped my poles and slid on slippery snow
Up came a cliff, I abandoned all hope
Right after tumbling down a very rocky slope
Too bad these skis weren't equipment to rappel
Here follows a narration of what I said as I fell
off, ouch, uh oh here comes a rock, etc.
Just make sure you have fun on the slopes - WHOA!
|
||||
2. |
Becoming a Bog
01:03
|
|||
My apartment looks like crap
Every day is an opaque fog
Mac and cheese room temp in my lap
Thinkin' 'bout becoming a bog
No muss, no fuss
Advantages numerous
Settle in for the big inert
I will turn myself to dirt
Lie covered in soil and seeds
Dump lukewarm water in my face
Recline on a couch of tweed
Plant feet, stare off into space
Peripheral vision fades
Focus on the Everglades
Mentally I've left my home
Tall grass and marshy loam
Two weeks, I've been dead-still
Haven't quite adhered to the floor
Neglected to pay my bills
Cops burst in through the front door
Landlord complained of a smell
Tossed me in a concrete cell
You might think I'm a gross schlub
Or maybe a sapling shrub
|
||||
3. |
Disco Devastator
01:12
|
|||
Distended sores erupt with vomit and pus
Decaying corpse reduced to syrup
Intestines strewn uncoiled in the dirt
Stench of rot permeates the landscape
Corpses bloat and pop in the sunlight
Beetles crawl and maggots wriggle
To me a typical Saturday night
I prepare in front of the mirror
Burning incense, doing yoga
With 18 pounds of blow ingested
Get in my car, go to the dance hall
Get my groove on, wow the crowd
Sweat in my executioner's mask
The party ends when they say "Last Call,"
And the fun begins when I pull my axe.
|
||||
4. |
||||
Drivin' cattle in the wild midwest
Got a lawman star on my vest
Had a hangin' just last week
Strung 'im up on a branch of teak
That crazy old coot is toast
Hope he don't come back as a ghost
This sun will burn me red
Rode hard and put away dead
Soaked down to the bone with sweat
Saturated last cigarette
No town for many a mile
High noon has a rictus smile
Then a sight that seems to random
Is that some kind of phantom?
Out thunders a great death rattle
Which thoroughly spooks the cattle
Great chaos, cattle scatter
Fall off my horse with a clatter
Two tons of oncoming beef
Crush me down to guts and teeth
YEEHAW!
|
||||
5. |
Choke On 'em
01:05
|
|||
Far from civilization
Deep within the woods
A quaint village tucked away
A cannibal neighborhood
Woe to the unwary traveler
Stay to roads well-known
Those who meet this ravenous clan
End up sun-bleached bones
In this way we ventured
Ignorant of our fates
My esteemed colleagues and I
Bound for dinner plates
Quickly we were captured
Whipped up into stew
Cannibalistic potluck
Flesh in the pan - guess who?
The process of digestion
Is different from the inside
The weight of this indignity
Would kill me if I hadn't died
May this find you safe and well
On roads that are well-trod
'cause crapped out by these hillbillies
Is no way to meet God
|
||||
6. |
Humanoid
02:06
|
|||
It came from the deep sea
Bipedal and wet
Enveloped in seaweed
Dripping hideous silhouette
Covered in barnacles
An anchor dragging in tow
Emitting nauseous miasma
With the speed of an ice floe
Homo Icthys
Treading forth from the great abyss
Behold the new God
A big, walking two-legged cod
It came with intent
A lust for blood
The will to conquer
And hunger for death
You cannot repent
You'll drown in the flood
The submarine stalker
The ultimate sight for your final breath
Homo Icthys
A new day dawns, the end of man
New king seeks throne
An age of fear will soon commence
Ragged gasping
Choking on air, pitches forward
Comes crashing down
Forgot he had gills. Down he goes. So long.
|
||||
7. |
Gotta Metal
01:51
|
|||
Someday we'll all be dead
Rotten brain in a mummified head
Worm food in a can in a cold, dark crypt
As you molder and reflect
On a life too circumspect
By a corporate hand enslaved and whipped
It'll be too late to live
And you owe the world to give
All the vim and vigor you can manifest
Will you live, or die alive
Fly high, or take a nosedive
You must by metal be possessed
Gotta metal, gotta metal
Gotta put the metal to the pedal
Make a metal fist, raise it high
Gotta metal, gotta metal
Metal blacker than the pot or the kettle
Metal hard and fast until you die
Look around at the world you've made
Keep a tally of the prices paid
You're a steel-winged eagle, fast and free
Metal hard, that's metal - verb
Fly your flag. Go forth, perturb
In short, metal is the way to be
Be free - not robotic
Anything worth doing's quixotic
Quit being a corpse, get out there and METAL!
|
Streaming and Download help
If you like Axe Maniac, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp